hyperfocus: all or nothing

FOCUS on fishing!

Do you ever find yourself interested in something sooooo desperately that you can stop working on it or thinking about it until it's absolutely perfect?

You are so focused, it's all you think of.... for a while.

I was like that with this blog. I spent way too much time adapting a theme to fit the posts on here. Then, started writing posts.

After a bit, I was over it. I moved on to something more exciting or at least more time consuming.

I thought of this blog two weeks ago. I realized I'd totally neglected it. Then, I moved on to fishing. LOL. I've been fishing four times in as many weeks. Still haven't caught a decent string of fish.

I did, however, talk with a guy who gave me a cooler of fish he didn't want to clean. Now, we have fish in the freezer when we're in the mood.

Do you do this? This crazy, manic focus on one thing for a while and then, a total loss of interest?

It's fine as long as whatever you're focused on is rather easier to complete or something that doesn't require much of a followup. I got into a snag with it working on my house. I painted my bedroom, hall, bathroom, living room, foyer, utility room... and only half the dining room. Ugh. Can't finish.

Was totally into roses and planted about 20 bushes, now I can't stand the thought of weeding them.

I guess that's all part of it, or so my doctor says. She says I should do my best not to get so hyperfocused on things, but that's easier said than done.

Until then... I'll catch you later... or maybe sooner. Who knows?

Did I forget about you?

Did I forget about you? Naw. Okay. Maybe.... a little bit.

Mr. Lincoln hybrid tea rose

I've been pretty wound up in yard work these last few weeks. Pulling briars, cutting grass, you name it. All sorts of fun things.

I also worked on a big genealogy project that led a friend of mine to the family he never knew existed. That was a big deal. I took almost every second I could tear away from what I was required to do to look. I didn't my best to unravel a mystery and help my friend figure out who he came from.

Some of my Lancaster ancestors clearing land

Now, I'm back to sorta normal. I'm curious about something, though. If I can find a man's lost family in three days' time, why I can do this as a job to bring in extra money. It takes time, patience and the ability to connect Point A and Point B, but I think I should try it.  :)


I keep asking myself, "Would you pay someone to do your genealogical research for you....."

Beautiful Spring

Memorial Day rose

View of the pasture from my parents' backporch

Sunset in the big pasture

Knockout roses in full bloom

Coreopsis in my rose bed

The Switch

Aside from diet, exercise and generally healthy living, one of the most important ways to treat a health problem, whatever it may be, is by medication.

When I was 25, my doctor started me on medication to treat my hypertension. I'd been warned after dealing with seriously elevated blood pressure for most of my pregnancy, I'd probably end up taking it for the rest of my life.

We tried a little of this and a little of that. At first, your classic diuretic. Nope. Then I tried a wonderful calcium channel blocker called Norvasc. The stuff was great. Blood pressure under control and I felt better all the way around. Interesting note, years later I read an article

between the poles

When I came home from work for good, I was very sick. i guess that's putting it mildly. I'm very leery of talking about this, but I will. No one's reading this blog anyway. LOL

As I said, I was very sick. Now, I'd had these "spells" before, but nothing like this.

There was the time I accidentally quit my job as a reporter simply because I couldn't tell the publisher I really was just cleaning out my desk for the sake of organization.

There was the time I left work at a newspaper, changed my phone number and stayed in the woods all day, wishing it would all go away. It didn't, though.

Back then, I had no idea what was going on. Why I'd get in that sort of shape.

This time was different, though. This time, I knew.

Into the woods

Today was an absolutely gorgeous day. After church, we spent a few hours in the woods. Here are a few random snaps I took between dodging briars and holly trees. 

I guess, in a way, I want to relive part of my past. Back when I was about 15, my dad bought a Honda Big Red three-wheeled ATV. My brother and I, armed with a machete, a bow saw and an ax, to build trails through the wooded areas on my parents' property. We had the most beautiful trails. There were seep springs, lined with ferns, underneath towering longleaf pines. 

In Spring 2004, to head of a complete invasion by Southern pine bark beetles, my dad had the majority of the longleaf pines. A few months later, Hurricane Ivan hit the Gulf Coast just south of us. We had massive damage including tree loss. 

The days of riding trails were gone. 

reflections of...

My daughter, Sydney, enjoying the standing water out in the cow pasture. 

I stopped long enough for my daughter, Sydney, to put her duck boots to work this afternoon. I watched for a few minutes and realized how beautiful she was with her reflection down below. Of course, I had to snap a pic of her.

Watching her play, I started thinking. Actually, I started humming. Growing up, my parents watched shows like Tour of Duty and China Beach. Watching China Beach meant knowing the words to Diana Ross and The Supremes song, "Reflections."

Across the gulf

Our girls are growing up, but not apart.

Two of our three girls are crossing the gulf from childhood to womanhood. My Sydney turned 13 in December and my niece, Addy, will turn 13 in September. So glad they are all still such close friends with my younger niece, Amelia, who is six. She says they are all sisters, not a pair of sisters and a cousin.

backyard beauties

Beautiful azaleas from my parents' backyard

Spring...break from it all

Sometimes you need a break. Call it a change of scenery or an escape. Whatever you call it, call it a sanity on wheels. 

We loaded up our stuff, snagged one a Sydney's friends and hit the road to Waldo, Ala. Where's Waldo you may ask? It's located just south of Talladega, Ala., in the edge of the Talladega National Forest. 

Historic Waldo Covered Bridge

We rented a house situated on a few acres of land containing three creeks and a historic covered bridge. Our time there was so relaxing (except for the train track which was much more active that I was lead to believe). 

Talladega Creek

The girls loved the creek and would've stayed there the entire time. They rode bikes back and forth to the creek and the train tunnel. 

Sydney and Craig in the Africa exhibit

When the rain set in, we drove up to the Anniston Museum of Natural History. The exhibits were fascinating. 

Stegosaurus

After, we hit the road up to Cheaha State Park. The view was fantastic. The wind was cool there, as always. Can't believe I forgot my fleece. 

Lookout Tower at the highest point in Alabama

Scenic overlook just outside Cheaha State Park

Sydney and J on a wall overlook Cheaha Lake at Cheaha State Park

Firecracker plants were scattered throughout the woods. Gorgeous. 

And, just like that, it was time to go home. I would love to take two weeks off two see how far we could go. In the meantime, we'll just enjoy the sunset at our house. The worst part for me after any trip is the Monday after. Things go from busy and interesting with my whole family, to the drudgery of laundry and catch-up work while home alone. It's like the trip is mania, that starts with a long, hard drive. When I pull into the driveway, the depression sets in. I honestly don't want to get out of the car. Ugh. 

So, here's to being home. I'm plotting my next escape. It'll be a day trip, but I bet I'll feel better afterwards.

Beautiful sky greeted us when we made it home. 

it's all in the genes

I've always been fascinated by genetics. As the auburn-haired, freckle-faced girl with a blonde-hair, blue eyed brother who looked like a gingerbread boy in summer, I was curious how neither or us looked like our parents or each other; but, at the same time, we looked alike.

In fifth or sixth grade, we studied Gregor Mendel's laws of genetics. I drew Punnet squares like crazy. So many genetic outcomes could be predicted this way.

Living on a farm, I had pets like Aussies and different color cattle for examples of the inheritance of color as well as genes like merles and dilutes.

Maggie, my blue merle Australian Shepherd

A dilute cow and calf with a black calf 

With all the changes in DNA and genetics, I was pleased when ancestry testing became available to consumers at a reasonable price. For several years, I was apprehensive about trying. Finally, I had a little money to throw away. I bought two tests through 23andme.com. One for my brother and one for my husband.

After a few anxious weeks, it was fascinating to see what nationalities made up our ancestries.

My surprise was the 12% Scandinavian blood. After a little thought, I chocked it up to the large amount of Scots blood we have.

Even with the information from this website, I'm still no closer to figuring out who my genealogy brick wall, John D. Lee (1802, Robeson County, NC).

Who is this guy? ARGH!!!!

I've been talking with my dad and we're thinking of trying another DNA test. I've always wanted to participate in the Lee DNA Project and now in the Lumbee Indian DNA project on familytreedna.com



I would love to know how this John Lee was connected to the family of Jesse Lee, who is buried near Fairmont, NC.

John's children, grandchildren and other descendants share the names of Jesse and his children. Both my great grandfather and brother are named Jesse, as a matter of fact.

I often have my doubts that our John Lee was the son of a Lee man at all. I really think he was the son of a Lee daughter. The DNA samples we submitted through 23andme.com traces ancestry through the Y chromosome. Out of the 1,000+ relatives I'm connected to on 23andme, only 50 are Lees. You can't honestly make me believe that a name as common as Lee, with as many people out there looking for connections to noteworthy individuals like Lighthouse Harry Lee, Robert E. Lee, Harper Lee, etc., would only have that many Lees who are possibly (and, if so, very distantly) related to me.

I hope I live long enough to find out who John D. Lee really was. I'll post updates if and when we try again.

Ounces do not equal milliliters

I love my fish. LOVE them. I grew up with an aquarium in the house my entire childhood and have had one the 19 years I've been away from home.

I researched the species, plants, etc. and FINALLY had a great combination in this 75-gallon we bought a year ago. We were just remarking last night how much the fish had grown and how beautiful their colors were.

The only thing I wanted to change was cyanobacteria growing on the glass. Found multiple recommendations for using hydrogen peroxide at a ratio of 1 ml per gallon. Stupid me bought and poured in 75 ounces. Basically, 400 times the dose. I gave all the fish oxygen poisoning. Only one of of probably 30 survived. I took him, a golden wonder killiefish, to Momma's house.

Woulda... Shoulda... Coulda...

This was in the "memories" portion of my newsfeed on Facebook yesterday:

Any of you ever feel this way?

I posted this in March 2012, two months after my diagnosis. Now, four years later with careful attention to my meds and very regular visits with my psychologist and psychiatrist, I feel that nagging regret. People say "hindsight is 20/20." Well, my foresight is almost nonexistent.

Woulda... Shoulda... Coulda... LOL

Surgery Day is Behind Us

View of Pensacola from Mom's room at Sacred Heart Hospital

Surgery day is behind us. Ugh. It was a long one. I woke up at a quarter 'til to two, left home at three and made it to Sacred Heart Hospital in Pensacola, Fla. by 5 p.m. Mother's surgeon said her knee replacement went extremely well. The only snag we ran into was that the hospital was out of rooms. Momma basically spent six hours in recovery waiting for one. After she was given a room, Sydney and I stayed with her and with Daddy until things were settled. She had PT and OT and a meal before we left. We hung around until about seven because, with the rain, traffic was a nightmare. The ambulances left for another call as soon as they dropped off their patients at the ER, just underneath us.

Medical Milestones

Mother's left knee

This is a big week for our family. Tomorrow, my mother has her second knee replacement in a little more than four months. It's a big deal. A really big deal. Her knee were horrible. She'd been having cortisone shots for years and at 59, was basically tied to a walker when she was home or a wheelchair when she had to travel any distance. She hadn't bought groceries on her on for more than a year and had long since left her love of flowers and gardening behind.

Mother had what is called "windswept knees." One knee curved in and the other out, so her body was basically sitting about six inches to the right of where her feet were, instead of right on top of them. After the first knee was fixed, the second has deteriorated to the point that the tibia has worn a hole into her femur. Bone on bone.

Tomorrow, we take the last big step to getting her life back.

She will have a complete knee replacement. We talked this morning and she knows it will be painful, but is hopeful that, with having the earlier replaced knee to depend on, recovery will go much more smoothly.

My Favorite Cow

Guess who's back...

Sydney, Julie & Craig from Winter 2016

As you can tell from my catty little "About Me" box, I've decided to do the blog thing again. Hard to believe this is the first post I've made in two and a half years.  Things have certainly changed. Back then, you'd link your blog to your Facebook page and that was about it. Now, we have Instagram, FB, Twitter, Pinterest and a variety of other forms of social media.

I think I'm going to enjoy being back on here. There are times I like to post things, but don't care for some of the silly comments I get on FB. This way, I can pretty much say what I want and not feel like I need to censor myself because this friend is voting for that candidate or that friend attends a certain church with differing viewpoints.

I can just be me.

I'm going to try to catch up on a few things we've done these past two years that were photo worthy.